My Revelation

I remember the first time I walked into the crowded halls of my college and heard the chatter of conversations of the occupants, I knew I was thankful. When I overheard a conversation coming from some college boys talking about their latest views on the internet, I knew I thankful. When I heard girls talk about their latest excitement at their latest party or their latest binge, I was thankful.

I binge on Jesus, He takes away my pain and lasts forever.

I am thankful I have found something different. I don't have to look for the latest avenue to feed my voids or wants or desires. I've found it.

When I overheard these conversations, I was suddenly made aware of how seriously thankful I was.

I mean...

I've always been taught that thanksgiving is a tremendous part of receiving—thanksgiving shows graciousness, and gratefulness. But it never truly occurred to me, how grateful I was.

Until, I heard these words, words of people so lost that I couldn't help but think, “Jesus, where would I be if You hadn't saved me?”

I would be somewhere, I'm convinced either dead or near dead.

Thanksgiving is a beautiful thing; it reminds us that everything we have, we've been given as a gift. It reminds us that we don't achieve anything by ourselves.

“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.” Psalm 69

When I reached for my Bible, on its special place where it had rested for far too long, I fingered the wispy, silver rimmed edges, suddenly thankful that I possessed such a book and knew of the Promise the contents held.

We can be thankful for so much and not ever utter a word of our thanks. I'm thankful for many things, some great some small.

I'm thankful for those hard, unexplained times. I'm thankful for those moments of severe anger, because it gives me a chance to allow grace to cascade gently into the situation.

I'm thankful for moments when my future engulfs me in anxiety, because I can fall backwards in the arms that catch me every time.

No, I didn't have a sudden lapse of time and think it was Thanksgiving.

Our Thanksgiving tradition is to circle around the table during dinner and mention what we're grateful for. But I don't want that to be the only time that I think on what I'm grateful for. Each day possess multiple events and occasions where I should be grateful.

I decided to write down, each day, something that I'm thankful for. My list isn't perfect, and sometimes I forget. If you've never heard of the 1000 Gifts Challenge, I suggest that you look into it, and participate in a daily challenge that will change you're view of thanksgiving.

 

 

So often, we forget to thank Him for those blessings we do not speak of . . .

those blessings in disguise

 Those blessings can be shaped like death and sorrow and despair but are truly wrapped by God's grace and His wonderful plan

I'm thankful that my plans don't work out and His do. . .

I'm thankful that God loves me regardless . . .

I'm thankful He still loves me . . . and chooses to call me His Child. . . and. . . yet

I still forget to be thankful in the inkling of a second---in that moment when something doesn't go my way

When I'm washed over with that feeling of discontentment and bitterness—I forget so much—I forget to be thankful . . .

So . . .I'm making 1000 Gifts a lifestyle.

No matter what, to be thankful, for big and little, great and small, sad and happy, joyful and turbulent--because I need to make everyday Thanksgiving.

What my sister's teach me . . .

I wish I had the faith like a child. I wish I had the determination like a child.

My redheaded, freckled faced and blissfully adorable sister has that enviable faith.

She looks up at a stranger and asks in sweet innocence, “Are you a Christian?”

The answer most give, is an undecided and quizzical look. But she still looks to them for an answer.

In church, she snuggled up against me as she sat in my lap and listened. Her Bible tucked in her sweet little hand. She looked to me and said, “God loves all of us and God will always be with us,” she concluded with, “I love God.”

I smiled.

Nothing else could make me happier than to hear those words.

But something about her untainted, innocent, joyful faith, makes me smile. She knows God loves her—she doesn’t just think it—she knows it. Do we know and have pure confidence we have this beautiful, indelible Grace.

In our honesty, does our shallow flesh, truly hold onto the merciful gift of Grace?

She smiles, back at me, and settles down again, fingering the pages of her Jesus Bible.

Together we’ve read a couple of stories, acting them out as we go along, so she can remember them better.

Sometimes during school, she slips away and knocks on my door and asks if she can come in. Sometimes, she’ll ask if she can sit and read with me. Other times I’ll ask if she wants to read her Bible while I read mine and she quickly hops on my bed (destroying any possibility of a neat arrangement) and flips open her Jesus Bible. She doesn’t read full sentences yet, so she just makes up what she thinks the words say, but it has a lot of truth to it. She says things like, “God loves,” and, “Jesus is beautiful,” and, “Jesus heals people.”

I love to hear my parents read Bible stories to she and my sister--later on they tell us what their learning in Bible. It's really joyful.

She picks up so much.

Sometimes, during our dinner time devotions, she’ll raise her hand and answer a question, not always correct or relative, but she is still encouraged.

I love to hear she and my other sister belt out Bible songs through the house. I don’t care how many times I hear, He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands, and it still sounds beautiful to me.

Or the hymns that she and my sister sing together, trying to remember the complete words.

Their acts of faith and devotion—make me step back and look at mine. Do I have that devotion and perception of God? Do I see God as the beautiful and Almighty Creator, as they do? I strive to possess a grasp of the Cross.

Like they do.

Their prayers are so direct--so beautiful--so sweet.

No wonder Jesus asks us to compare ourselves to little children.

Let us take note of such beautiful and blissful faith and grace.

Sancitity of Life Sunday

Tomorrow is Sanctity of Life Sunday.

We have days to pray for our troops, 9/11 victims, and the persecuted church. But tomorrow we pray for those voices unheard, the ones who never spoke. It's not a time for condemnation or judgement.

I see it as a time to rejoice.

I like to think those babies are in Paradise--utter perfection--and are completely and totally at Home with their true Maker and Creator.

Take a moment...a second and pray for the sanctity of life...because Life is Precious to God.

It's my way...or the highway

I've noticed that the previous blog posts have been about me...and I can't stand talking about myself.

Mostly, because I have nothing to say.

But, I can't help but mention what God's been doing in my life--making me realize how needy I am and probably making you think, "She's got some serious issues." But I take heart in this quote by Francis Chan, “If life were stable, I'd never need God's help.”

This week I realized (and not for the first time) how much I need Jesus. Enough said, right?

Wrong.
“Has your relationship with God changed the way you live your life?”
― Francis Chan

Anyone can admit they need help, anyone can admit that they need Jesus. But, until you put that "needing-Jesus," stuff to work, its only words. It's like telling someone how much you love them but never expressing it.

I needed to work on getting through my impossible brain that I can't do anything on my own. Nothing. I find myself saying, "Okay, God, I've got this part of my life--you work on something else," or, "I've got this, it's cool God, come back later when I really need you."

No. It's an all or nothing relationship.“He wants all or nothing. The thought of a person calling himself a 'Christian' without being a devoted follower of Christ is absurd.” ~ Francis Chan

It's hard because I don't like not knowing what to expect. I think that's the biggest reason that I choose "my" way, because I can sort of create the outcome, whereas trusting in God is like...who really knows what's going to happen? But I think that's the whole point--no knowing...trusting...and watching for what amazing things will happen.

“The irony is that while God doesn’t need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time.” [choir of angels singing, Halleluiah in the background]

So...to this...I can only say I'm trying to change and the change is slow.

Oh, and may the Raven's win!!!!!

How an Abortion Saved the Lives of Many

How an Abortion Saved the Lives of Many

The good, the bad, and the negative. . .

I was suddenly perplexed as I listened to myself. It was a normal day, nothing unusual or irregular about the day. My thought process has instantly changed to negativity and it bothered me. One of those blasted days when nothing goes right, everything is wrong, so-and-so 'did it again,' worry about needless things, and the smallest trespasses are taken with the biggest offense. I wondered how I had gotten here--how had my view gone from completely happy and joyful to the complete opposite. It bothered me. A lot. How quickly I could be consumed about the unfavorable characteristics in my life, rather than move past them, bothered me. I was suddenly consumed about all that went wrong in my life that I didn't take time to admire and cherish all that I had--even the bad things. A few years ago, I read an article by someone (unnamed author, I apologize, I can't remember your name just what you said) but they talked about all the different ways to accept the mountains in your life and make the best of them. I make it sound so cliche, but truly it wasn't. The author continued, remarking about a particular time in her life when she complained of washing so many dishes. Every evening after dinner she'd wash and wash and wash, quickly tiring of the repetitive chore. Finally, she realized (while, washing the dishes) that her lack of gratitude bled not only into her daily chores but into every aspect of her life. She decided that a change was in order and chose to look at every drudgery in a grateful perspective. As she washed her dishes, she thanked God for providing the food to place on the dishes, for the people that the dishes served, for the dishes themselves--soon, she found that she had a host of thank-you's and remarks of gratitude. She continued throughout the day, when a prized possession was shattered she was grateful that her salvation was not as easy to crumble like that of a feeble treasure, the list continued. Not every drudgery will be that easy to be grateful for, but somehow, in everything, glory to God must be found. He wouldn't command us to, "Rejoice always..." In 1 Thessalonians. It doesn't matter the circumstance, we're to rejoice always. I think of great missionaries and persecuted Christians, such as Corrie ten Boom, who was encouraged by her dying sister, Betsy, to follow these very words while suffering from lice, fleas, cold, starvation, neglect, malnutrition and a host of other problems all while in a Nazi concentration camp. Somehow they found gratitude for their conditions, and somehow it got them through another day. It's hard. Somehow it's easier to find negativity rather than gratefulness. But it's so refreshing to find an outlook that mirrors gratitude and thankfulness.

Just Love God. . .

Night time is when my thoughts connect best. Something pieces my thoughts better at night, maybe the serenity or the stillness that night provides. Several times throughout the day I sat, trying to put my thoughts down, but was interrupted by the little voices asking to come color a picture, or help with school, or some chore that needed completion…and there went my lovely blog post. But tonight, I was able to finish my post—uncertain if anyone will be able to connect with what I’m saying…

God just wants your love. I looked at that sentence and questioned its validity. I’m one of those unlucky people who struggles with a serious illness—it’s called over-achieving. If you’re like me you know that sometimes being an over-achiever is not so great, because you constantly try and prove things to yourself by doing over what is expected. I realized this, amidst, trying to decide which nursing home to start volunteering at, which country to pick for my summer missions trip, and when to start volunteering at a nearby crisis pregnancy center. While, all of those things, are well and good, and have potentials to serve the Lord and reach out to others, I had somehow missed the point. I can try, all I want, to out-serve other people, track down every unbeliever until every last one has a tract, and solve world hunger, but if I miss the point of loving God, then it’s really all for loss. In myself, I have indeed missed the point. I’m not going to stop serving people and focus on just loving God. But I feel that while I am serving I have to strive harder to remember that God just wants my love...

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deut. 6:4-6

Back Again. . .

So, I've joined forces, yet again, with the blogging world.

It's safe to say that posts won't be appearing every day and that what I have to say or what I write will probably leave most of you in a quandary with my meaning. But I'm excited to just write and share my life and the lessons that I learn daily or rather, minute-by-minute.