I
remember the first time I was confronted about being different and it was a wake up
call. No more at thirteen, could I just blend in with those around me, I would
stand out indefinitely. In the midst of a youth group session, during worship, I
realized that my life had turned a new page. I struggled with wanting to
be accepted, I wanted my peers to joke with me like they joked with each other, I
wanted my "friends" to smile and laugh with me, and I wanted the side-ways glances to
stop. My parents encouraged me to be true to my convictions and be true to my
faith—the faith that had always seen me through the deep, intricacies of confusion,
the moments of wavering, and the times of rejoicing. This relationship with God that was and is impeccable;
and yet I was coming to a cross roads, the cross roads and age of accountability
that all individuals face, and yet so few choose to continue on in faith and
assurance.
That
evening in the middle of a youth group session I became abruptly aware that this
was it—the cliché fork in the road. Would I travel on in faith that God would
become my everything, surpass any desire of acceptance with the only acceptance
that matters, and fulfill me beyond my utmost expectations? Or, would I yield to
my flesh and cave to the world, to the clothes, the music, the movies, the
talk. . . all of the rest. My parents were my sounding board, my shield, and
yet they knew that they could no longer make this decision for me—this was
about my relationship with the Lord and taking it the next level. At that
moment, in the middle of a worship song, I realized that I had made my
decision. God gave me a peace that I had made the right choice by choosing Him,
by choosing to take the neglect from those around in response to going with
Him. This faith that I held, these convictions He had laid on my heart, were
far too special to replace with fickle smiles and invitations from my
peers. But I realized that my life would be scrutinized for being different and
somehow, gradually, I became resigned to that fact. To be a Christian is to be
peculiar, to be different, as my Dad says, and I’m grateful for this
perspective. What truth!
I don’t
mention this story to talk about me—but I mention this only to encourage and
share with others that it is possible to make it out unscathed and it is possible to grow in these times of loneliness. I’ve done nothing to bring myself to this point, God has done
everything. I can only boast in what He’s done. I’ve grown so much in the times
when I’ve been scrutinized for my lifestyle and I’ve learned that it’s a
beautiful place to be. The book of James tells us to consider it pure joy when
we go through trials because it produces perseverance and maturity—all part of
our sanctification process:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face
trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces
perseverance…” James 1:2
Choosing
to follow the Lord has been the best decision I’ve made and I can’t describe
how I’ve grown and learned from all of the beautiful places He’s brought me
through. I’m looking forward to what He has in store for my life with the high
possibility that it might look strange to those watching—but I’m okay with
that. To those who are struggling with the pressures of this world and
compromising their faith to slide into the comfortable and acceptable lifestyle
that is too tempting (In my best Mel Gibson Braveheart voice): stay strong and
hold fast, it’s the best decision you’ll ever make. God is ready to make you a
willing vessel of His love and though it will never be “easy,” it will be the
best decision you could ever make. This verse below always provides me hope for
the present and future:
“Therefore, since we have been justified
through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through
whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And
we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our
sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance,
character; and character, hope. And hope
does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our
hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5
